Count your blessings, not your presents.

How many times have your heard it said or how many times have you said yourself, "Count your blessings, not your presents." ?  I've heard it said many times and I've said it myself many times as well.  This year I learned the true meaning of that saying.

For weeks leading up to Christmas my heart was heavy because I knew I did not have the funds to buy my children presents.  Since I've been unemployed for 6 months, buying gifts was a luxury I did not have.  While my children are no longer little, as any mother knows, we still take joy in watching our children unwrap the gifts we've given them and nothing changes when they become older.  Every time someone would talk about Christmas or gift buying, I would fight back the tears.  I honestly did not know how I would make it through Christmas day but I was determined to do my best.  As soon as I got up Christmas morning I got busy starting the Christmas meal.  Each time I would look up and see the empty Christmas tree, the hot tears would sting my eyes and a lump would attach it's self to the back of my throat, but I had made up my mind that was not going to happen on Christmas day. 

Even though we very much missed Ashley this year, the boys were troopers and acted as if nothing was different about not having presents.  They joked around and enjoyed the day as if it was a "regular" Christmas day.  They even approached the yearly Christmas scavenger hunt with the usual gusto, except this year when they could not find the last few hidden pieces, they found my clue sheet with the hiding places while I was cooking and used it to find the pieces that could not be found.  I tried my best to get the answer sheet away from them but they are both taller than me and they kept throwing it to each other well above my head!  I tickled them in hopes that they would drop it or lower it to where I could reach, but to no avail.  But even with the clue sheet they still could not find the last few pieces.

After they found the last few pieces of the scavenger hunt, we finished preparing everything for dinner, sat down and ate until we were stuffed, washed the dishes and went downtown to keep the tradition of seeing the Christmas lights that were set to music. 

Before I knew it, it was 10:30 p.m. and the day was over.  Just before wrapping everything up for the night I was checked Facebook and saw a picture of a Christmas tree that had two different sides.  One side was full, green and decorated with wrapped presents underneath while the other side of the Christmas tree was burnt, black, no leaves and under it was a box with a man sleeping inside. The caption underneath said, "Count your blessings, not your presents."  The hot tears once again forced themselves to my eyes but it was not due to the lack of presents for my children, these tears were due to the shame I felt for being so upset at the fact of not having the money for Christmas presents when my children and I have presents that cannot be paid for.  We have salvation, each one of us have professed Christ as our Savior. We have a home to live in, we do not have to fear going to sleep because we have to sleep in a box or under an over-pass, we have each other while many families were without loved ones on Christmas day. We have clothes while many people fought to stay warm due to lack of clothing and warm blankets. We had food to fill our bellies while many people around the world went hungry on Christmas day.  We had legs to walk, arms to hug each other tight and health while many others were not even able to get out of bed on Christmas day.

I learned a lesson yesterday which I will not soon forget.  I learned the true meaning of the saying, "Count your blessings, not your presents." and I would not change or trade yesterday for anything!

Let's determine to truly count our blessings and not our presents.  And let's teach our children that the tangible things of life are not important.  That unfortunately is something many of us forget.

Merry Christmas season!!!

God is faithful

I am going through a rough time in my life, as are many of you.  I've been unemployed for almost  
5 months and this has been a very hard time for me.  I've always had a job, raised 3 kids on my own sometimes working 4-5 jobs at once.  I knew God provided my needs but that was never "put to the test" because I always had an income and did not have to worry about where my income was coming from because I always knew another pay check was on its way.

Now that I do not have a job that provides a consistent income, I have to totally trust God for my EVERY need.  I am embarrassed to say I never realized how much I trusted my income more than I trusted God.  When I first became unemployed I was OK because I thought for sure I would find a job in no time but when the job interviews did not turn in to anything and the bills kept piling up, I became very worried.  I spent my days being very depressed and crying.  A trip to check the mail became more stress than I could handle.  I cried and grasped feverishly at everything I could think of that would provide an income to pay some of the bills but eventually it got to where there was nothing else left that would provide more income. My fear was losing my apartment or losing my source of transportation, both of which are a must.

I asked over and over, "Why is God making me go through this?"  Last Sunday my pastor preached a message that touched my heart and answered my questions.  The message relayed that no matter what happens in our lives, God is faithful.  He provides what we need, just when we need it.  That was it......God was not on my timetable!  I had been expecting God to provide my needs when I thought He should and my watch does not keep the same time that God's watch does.

I believe God has been using this time to teach me that HE alone provides my needs.  He has also used this time to teach me to trust Him, rely solely on Him and do so patiently.  This has been a very hard lesson for me to learn and I am sure this is not the last time I will have to learn it.

I am not writing about this for you to feel sorry for me.  I am writing about this because I know I am not the first or last person to go through this and I just wanted to share my thoughts with you and let you know God knows exactly what you are going through. He knows your address and He will provide at just the right time.  He loves you and He is not going to forget you.

When Christ is all you have, you find Christ is all you need.

A Godly heritage

Today is Grandparent's Day so let me just take a moment to say Happy Grandparent's day to any grandparents reading this.  Grandparents are very special people who have a great responsibility to their grandchildren as well as their children.

What responsibility could a grandparent possibly have to their grandchildren besides spoiling them?  Grandparents have a responsibility to be a Godly example to their grandchildren.  When your grandchildren think of Godly examples in their lives, do they think of you?  Does what they see you do match what they hear you say?

It is important for grandparents to leave a Godly heritage to their grandchildren.  After you are gone and your children and grandchildren are sifting through everything you've left behind, what will they find?  Will they find things that point them to Christ or things that leave doubt and confusion in their minds?

It is also important that grandparents guard their grandchildren and protect them from harmful things as well as worldly things.  A grandchild should be able to trust that their grandparents have their best interest at heart.  They should know that their grandparents love them unconditionally and with a pure, undefiled love, a love that will never end.

I had a grandmother who was a Godly example to me.  She was faithful in church, she always had a song in her heart, a smile on her face and she loved God.  Granny always lifted people up instead of tearing them down.  My granny, Zola Martin, was a Godly example and I miss her very much.

I am sorry to say my parents have not had Godly grandparents in their lives.  My children were defiled and betrayed in a way that should NEVER happen to grandchildren and my heart breaks every day for what their grandparents did to them.  However, they have had Godly examples of "grandparents" in church and I am eternally grateful for those people and the impact they've had on my children.

Perhaps you haven't been the example to your grandchildren that you should be, it's not too late to change and become the right kind of grandparent.  It's never too late to do right, it's never too late to mend hurt, it's never too late to start building a Godly heritage for your grandchildren.  It's never too late to leave footprints in which our children and grandchildren can follow, footprints that will bring them closer to God.

Let's determine to be Godly grandparents, if we have grandchildren and if we do not yet have grandchildren, lets determine now to start building a Godly heritage for our children and grandchildren to sift through after we've gone.  Let's also determine to be a Godly example to those children in our church who may not have Godly grandparents in their lives.  Happy Grandparent's day!

Charm 101

I learned many important things in charm class but if I had to sum charm class up into the two primary reasons for charm it would be to learn how to act like a lady and how to look like a lady.  For the most part women and girls do not know how to act and look like ladies.  The women and girls that we see the most of by way of television and movies are for the most part terrible examples yet our daughters are learning from those women and girls because that is all they have to go by.

Today I would like to talk about acting like a lady.  I have heard a lot of talk of what Miley Cyrus did in public recently.  While I did not see what she did, it makes me sad to think of the vast amount of young girls who did see her terrible display and will pattern their lives after her because they do not know any better.  We have failed our daughters if they think Miley Cyrus is a good role model.  Dare I go further and say we have failed our daughters if we allow them to have Miley Cyrus as a role model.  

Today, I would like to talk about sounding like a lady.  Have you ever been in public around a group of teenagers and the one voice talking and laughing the loudest is that of a teenage girl?  It makes me cringe when I hear that because I know the poor girl does not have a mother that is teaching her the importance of being a lady.  A lady should never be the loudest one in a group.  Most of the time when that happens the girl is usually trying to get the attention of a boy and there are so many lady like ways to get that boy's attention.

Another way to sound like a lady is by the words we speak.  A lady should never curse.  There used to be a time when if a man cursed in front of a lady or children, another man would ask him to stop or they would settle it out back.  Certainly as Christians we should never curse but especially as Christian ladies we should never curse, our speech should be clean and above reproach.  

Proverbs 25:11

Another way to sound like a lady goes hand in hand with the words we speak.  The words a lady speaks should be kind and uplifting.  We would all be better off if we would practice the saying, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all."  This includes gossip.  The females are well known for passing "juicy" pieces of gossip, but a Christian lady should not be well known for gossip.  Psalms 19:14

Let's determine to teach our daughters to sound like Christian young ladies, and not only teach them but lead by example.

Whatever happened to charm class?

A couple of years back when I was in junior high (LOL) I was required to take a class called "Charm" and in this class we learned how to dress, talk and act like young ladies.  We learned simple things like washing your hair brushes each week and cleaning under our fingernails with a brush.  We learned how to dress modestly, how to sit like a lady, even how to position our hands and feet when just standing and listening to someone else talk.

I would venture to say that if a charm class was offered in school today, there would be very few, if any, girls attending.  I realize times have changed but acting like a lady should never go out of style.  And even if charm is not being taught in school, it should certainly be taught in the home.  Am I saying to get a desk and set aside an hour each day to teach your daughter how to be a lady?  No, we can teach our daughters first of all by our examples.  If we as mothers do not know how to act like a lady, how can we teach our daughters?

For the next week or so I will be taking one topic from charm class and expounding on it.  Raising Godly young ladies is so important and we only get one chance to do it so we need to be sure we do it  right.  I can't even begin to tell you how many times I said to my kids, "She has probably not been taught how to act.", which is all too common.  A young lady makes such a statement by the way she acts and what she does.  For example, have you ever seen a lady that you thought was very pretty and lady like until you saw her smoking a cigarette and then your whole picture of her being a lady changed?

Just because society has changed and does not treat being a lady as a high priority, does not mean that is how we should think.  Please join me each day as we take a topic from charm class and expound upon it.  I think you will find it very interesting.

Let's determine to teach our daughters by example and be the Godly LADY that our daughters can look up to and desire to be like.

I know God will provide but........

I like to think of myself as a person of faith but when my faith is challenged, I find out I may not be everything I would like to think I am.  I want to be the person that sits back while problems are mounting and says, "God, I know you are going to help so I am not going to worry."  But try as I may, I am not that type of person.  I find that when I do get to the point where I tell God I am going to let Him handle it, I still find myself worrying about what will happen. 

I recently became unemployed.  At first I was very upset and had the usual pity party.  I then started filling out employment applications and sending resumes but no responses to my many applications or inquiries.  I then heard a sermon at church as to how we should not be afraid to pray for ourselves.  I've never hesitated to pray for someone else but always thought it was selfish to pray in detail for myself, I know that sounds stupid, but that is how I felt.  I then started praying as I filled out each application or sending each resume that God would provide the job HE wanted me to have.  All of the sudden I was asked to attend three interviews!  I had gone two weeks with nothing and now I had three interviews!!!  I prayed about the three interviews and even asked many others to pray with me.  I did not want ANY job (even though I needed ANY job for income), I wanted the job God wanted me to have. 

While I was "enjoying" my progress in giving things over to God and praying for my needs, the devil stepped in and reminded me I was going to have to pay my Cobra insurance with no means to do so and even pointed out that I would really be in a bad situation if neither of the job interviews turned into an actual job.  My insurance is something that scares me because I live daily in pain because of back problems so I have a pre-existing condition.  If I lose my insurance, I won't be able to get coverage for my back again.  A cloud began to overshadow me and I felt the cold fingers of despair staring to grasp on to me but I was not going to let the devil get the best of me.  I told God that He knew before I became unemployed that I would have to pay my Cobra insurance with no way to pay it so He would need to provide a way for me to pay for the insurance.  The dark cloud that had taken over me began to roll back, but in the back of my mind I still worry... not because I want to worry, it's human nature to worry about things we cannot control.

Are you saying or have you said, "I know God will provide at the right time but......."?  You are not alone.  Does it mean you are a bad person?  No, it just means you are human.  God understands and He wants to provide our needs, we just have to trust Him to do so.

Let's determine to trust God to provide our needs in His time, and WORRY LESS.

Am I a Thomas?

I've really been struggling with a lot lately.  So much that I want to put in words but I can't yet seem to find the right words.

 However, last week I was listening to a CD about Thomas.  When we think of Thomas from the Bible, I am sure I am not the only one who thinks of DOUBTING Thomas.  As single parents we all have doubts and fears that don't go away just because a well meaning pastor or friend quotes scripture.  Does the doubt and fear we face mean we are out of God's will?  While it can be a symptom, it is not always the case.

With the next few blogs I would like to address several areas of fear and doubt that we as single parents face.  In doing so, I am hoping we can "walk" hand in hand with each other and understand we are not alone.

I hardly think I am the only one who would put the fear and doubt of money at the top of the list. Money is a struggle for a family that has two bread-winners much less a single parent.  God tells us to not worry about tomorrow and there are times when that is enough, but then there are times, like the present, when even though I know the right answer, my mind is racing and my heart is pounding because I am actually afraid.  All this fear stems from a little tooth.

Before I had children I did not have any cavities at all.  I brushed my teeth and took good care of them.  My top teeth were crooked, but I did my best.  Approximately 8 years after I had my three children, I got my first cavity. Well to make a long story short, I got a cavity in between my front teeth.  I could never afford the dental insurance that could actually make a difference but I finally saved a little money, broke down and went to a dentist.  The dentist filled the tooth and life went on until Saturday night, I was eating dinner when the tooth fell apart and came out and immediately the tears began to fall.  Now I cannot talk to someone without covering my mouth and I am also having a hard time pronouncing some words.  All I can see is the amount it is going to cost to have the tooth replaced and the years it is going to take me to save up the money.

I know a "good" Christian would pray and trust God and I have prayed and I do trust God but I still find myself crying and worrying because I know in myself there is no way I am going to be able to get this problem repaired for years. If God and I could sit down and map out exactly how and when He was going to take care of this problem, I would be fine.  I am a person that likes to know what is going to take place and when.

Why am I telling you this?  Why don't I just give a devotional and go on with life?  I think that is what is wrong today, we are too ashamed to let anyone know we have doubts and fears.  We are too ashamed to let anyone know we do not have all the answers, thus, we keep it bottled up inside. God understands our fears, doubts and weaknesses.  When Thomas doubted, Jesus did not raise His voice and say, "Thomas, I am not going to repeat myself again!"  When He rose from the dead He did not appear to Thomas and say, "See, I told you so! You should have listened to me!!!" No, He lovingly showed Thomas His hands and with compassion told him to touch the nail prints.

I write this as a single mother who has worries and fears over where money is going to come from but I also write this to encourage anyone reading this who may be hiding in shame the fact that they too know the right answers and yet have fears and doubt.  You are not alone.  I will pray that God will answer your prayers and sooth your fears and doubt, I ask you do the same for me.

Words can last a lifetime!

There once was a little boy named Benjamin who had a terrible problem with telling people what he thought of them, and in not such a nice way.  He would not even think twice before spouting off terrible, hurtful things to his best friends.  This little boy was like all other children, they could be told 50 times not to play in the street but until they see the consequences of what actually happens when someone plays in the street, they won't stop. 

One day Benjamin's mother thought of a way to teach her son the consequences of his harsh words.  The next day after school she took him to the fence in the back yard and told him, "Every time you say something mean to anyone, you have to put a nail in the fence."  Pretty soon the fence got very full of nails and Benjamin became more puzzled as to how this was teaching him anything about saying mean things.  Finally one afternoon Mom took Benjamin to the back yard, with the hammer in hand, and told him to take the nails out of the fence.  Benjamin thought it would be a fun game so he started taking the nails out with vigour.  Pretty soon all the energy he had was giving way to sheer exhaustion and he still was not finished taking the nails out of the fence.  The sun soon started creeping into the ground and he could smell dinner cooking inside.  Mom called for Benjamin to come inside and get ready to supper.  He gladly raced inside, ready to eat and ready to get away from the fence and those pesky nails!

When Benjamin woke the next morning he was still wondering why mom had him take all of those nails out of the fence.  When he got home from school in the afternoon, mom took him to the back yard, showed him the fence and asked him what he saw.  Benjamin responded, "I see nothing but holes, mom."  To that his mother responded, "You are very right Benjamin.  Each time you say something mean to your friends, your teachers, me or anyone, you put a nail in that person.  When you apologize, the nail falls out, but the hole or scare from what you said will always be there."  Mom looked down to see tears running down Benjamin's face.  He gave his mother a big hug and tearfully apologized for the hurt he had caused her and promised to apologize to his teachers and friends the very next day.

I told a story such as this to my children many times when they were small because I wanted them to know their words could cause lasting damage.  That is true for children or adults, what we say can leave scars. 

Let's determine to teach our children to think twice before saying something that could cause harm.  But let's also determine to teach this to our children through our example, not just through our words.

Got ticks?

We recently found a tick on my dog, the first tick I've ever had to deal with.  Needless to say, it was an activity I'd rather not have to endure again!  Ticks are ugly little creatures who's only job in life is to hitch a ride on an animal and suck the animal's blood.  If a tick is left alone, it will make the animal very sick.  As gross as that sounds, I can't help but wonder if we have ticks in our lives, sucking us dry.

No one actually knows the exact date and time the tick jumps on it's prey and burrows it's self into the skin of the animal.  Sin can be compared to a tick because it becomes  part of us through something that seems harmless, then before we know it, sin has it's nasty little head stuck in our lives, sucking us dry of our spiritual food.  Much like trying to get the tick off of our poor dog, sin takes hold of our lives and it becomes almost impossible to get it out.

Eventually we get tired of tugging and pulling to get sin out of our lives so we just accept the fact sin is there to stay and we leave it alone.  What we don't realize is sin is doing much more harm then depleting us of our joy and spiritual food, it is making us very sick.  We no longer have our daily devotions, we no longer talk to God, then we no longer attend church.  If this is allowed to continue, we will become spiritually dead.

If we can be harmed by the tick called sin, how much more damage do you think it does to our children?  Once sin is allowed to creep it's way into the lives of our children, it takes hold and has years to suck their lives dry.  Sin hitches it's way into our lives from things that seem harmless such as watching shows on TV that aren't really bad but they aren't really good either.  Perhaps it's their music, they might not be listening to heavy metal, but what they are listening to is filled with curse words and disrespect to women.

Much like our animals, there are items we can use to keep the ticks off of us and our children.  Daily devotions and prayer is a good start.  I am a firm believer it is never too early to start devotions with your children.  No matter how busy life became, I always had devotions with my children because I wanted them to learn the importance of spending time with God at an early age.

Let's determine to saturate our lives and teach our children how to saturate their lives with God's Word so that sin cannot take hold of us and deplete us of our joy.