There once was a little boy named Benjamin who had a terrible problem with telling people what he thought of them, and in not such a nice way. He would not even think twice before spouting off terrible, hurtful things to his best friends. This little boy was like all other children, they could be told 50 times not to play in the street but until they see the consequences of what actually happens when someone plays in the street, they won't stop.
One day Benjamin's mother thought of a way to teach her son the consequences of his harsh words. The next day after school she took him to the fence in the back yard and told him, "Every time you say something mean to anyone, you have to put a nail in the fence." Pretty soon the fence got very full of nails and Benjamin became more puzzled as to how this was teaching him anything about saying mean things. Finally one afternoon Mom took Benjamin to the back yard, with the hammer in hand, and told him to take the nails out of the fence. Benjamin thought it would be a fun game so he started taking the nails out with vigour. Pretty soon all the energy he had was giving way to sheer exhaustion and he still was not finished taking the nails out of the fence. The sun soon started creeping into the ground and he could smell dinner cooking inside. Mom called for Benjamin to come inside and get ready to supper. He gladly raced inside, ready to eat and ready to get away from the fence and those pesky nails!
When Benjamin woke the next morning he was still wondering why mom had him take all of those nails out of the fence. When he got home from school in the afternoon, mom took him to the back yard, showed him the fence and asked him what he saw. Benjamin responded, "I see nothing but holes, mom." To that his mother responded, "You are very right Benjamin. Each time you say something mean to your friends, your teachers, me or anyone, you put a nail in that person. When you apologize, the nail falls out, but the hole or scare from what you said will always be there." Mom looked down to see tears running down Benjamin's face. He gave his mother a big hug and tearfully apologized for the hurt he had caused her and promised to apologize to his teachers and friends the very next day.
I told a story such as this to my children many times when they were small because I wanted them to know their words could cause lasting damage. That is true for children or adults, what we say can leave scars.
Let's determine to teach our children to think twice before saying something that could cause harm. But let's also determine to teach this to our children through our example, not just through our words.
