I know God will provide but........

I like to think of myself as a person of faith but when my faith is challenged, I find out I may not be everything I would like to think I am.  I want to be the person that sits back while problems are mounting and says, "God, I know you are going to help so I am not going to worry."  But try as I may, I am not that type of person.  I find that when I do get to the point where I tell God I am going to let Him handle it, I still find myself worrying about what will happen. 

I recently became unemployed.  At first I was very upset and had the usual pity party.  I then started filling out employment applications and sending resumes but no responses to my many applications or inquiries.  I then heard a sermon at church as to how we should not be afraid to pray for ourselves.  I've never hesitated to pray for someone else but always thought it was selfish to pray in detail for myself, I know that sounds stupid, but that is how I felt.  I then started praying as I filled out each application or sending each resume that God would provide the job HE wanted me to have.  All of the sudden I was asked to attend three interviews!  I had gone two weeks with nothing and now I had three interviews!!!  I prayed about the three interviews and even asked many others to pray with me.  I did not want ANY job (even though I needed ANY job for income), I wanted the job God wanted me to have. 

While I was "enjoying" my progress in giving things over to God and praying for my needs, the devil stepped in and reminded me I was going to have to pay my Cobra insurance with no means to do so and even pointed out that I would really be in a bad situation if neither of the job interviews turned into an actual job.  My insurance is something that scares me because I live daily in pain because of back problems so I have a pre-existing condition.  If I lose my insurance, I won't be able to get coverage for my back again.  A cloud began to overshadow me and I felt the cold fingers of despair staring to grasp on to me but I was not going to let the devil get the best of me.  I told God that He knew before I became unemployed that I would have to pay my Cobra insurance with no way to pay it so He would need to provide a way for me to pay for the insurance.  The dark cloud that had taken over me began to roll back, but in the back of my mind I still worry... not because I want to worry, it's human nature to worry about things we cannot control.

Are you saying or have you said, "I know God will provide at the right time but......."?  You are not alone.  Does it mean you are a bad person?  No, it just means you are human.  God understands and He wants to provide our needs, we just have to trust Him to do so.

Let's determine to trust God to provide our needs in His time, and WORRY LESS.

Am I a Thomas?

I've really been struggling with a lot lately.  So much that I want to put in words but I can't yet seem to find the right words.

 However, last week I was listening to a CD about Thomas.  When we think of Thomas from the Bible, I am sure I am not the only one who thinks of DOUBTING Thomas.  As single parents we all have doubts and fears that don't go away just because a well meaning pastor or friend quotes scripture.  Does the doubt and fear we face mean we are out of God's will?  While it can be a symptom, it is not always the case.

With the next few blogs I would like to address several areas of fear and doubt that we as single parents face.  In doing so, I am hoping we can "walk" hand in hand with each other and understand we are not alone.

I hardly think I am the only one who would put the fear and doubt of money at the top of the list. Money is a struggle for a family that has two bread-winners much less a single parent.  God tells us to not worry about tomorrow and there are times when that is enough, but then there are times, like the present, when even though I know the right answer, my mind is racing and my heart is pounding because I am actually afraid.  All this fear stems from a little tooth.

Before I had children I did not have any cavities at all.  I brushed my teeth and took good care of them.  My top teeth were crooked, but I did my best.  Approximately 8 years after I had my three children, I got my first cavity. Well to make a long story short, I got a cavity in between my front teeth.  I could never afford the dental insurance that could actually make a difference but I finally saved a little money, broke down and went to a dentist.  The dentist filled the tooth and life went on until Saturday night, I was eating dinner when the tooth fell apart and came out and immediately the tears began to fall.  Now I cannot talk to someone without covering my mouth and I am also having a hard time pronouncing some words.  All I can see is the amount it is going to cost to have the tooth replaced and the years it is going to take me to save up the money.

I know a "good" Christian would pray and trust God and I have prayed and I do trust God but I still find myself crying and worrying because I know in myself there is no way I am going to be able to get this problem repaired for years. If God and I could sit down and map out exactly how and when He was going to take care of this problem, I would be fine.  I am a person that likes to know what is going to take place and when.

Why am I telling you this?  Why don't I just give a devotional and go on with life?  I think that is what is wrong today, we are too ashamed to let anyone know we have doubts and fears.  We are too ashamed to let anyone know we do not have all the answers, thus, we keep it bottled up inside. God understands our fears, doubts and weaknesses.  When Thomas doubted, Jesus did not raise His voice and say, "Thomas, I am not going to repeat myself again!"  When He rose from the dead He did not appear to Thomas and say, "See, I told you so! You should have listened to me!!!" No, He lovingly showed Thomas His hands and with compassion told him to touch the nail prints.

I write this as a single mother who has worries and fears over where money is going to come from but I also write this to encourage anyone reading this who may be hiding in shame the fact that they too know the right answers and yet have fears and doubt.  You are not alone.  I will pray that God will answer your prayers and sooth your fears and doubt, I ask you do the same for me.

Words can last a lifetime!

There once was a little boy named Benjamin who had a terrible problem with telling people what he thought of them, and in not such a nice way.  He would not even think twice before spouting off terrible, hurtful things to his best friends.  This little boy was like all other children, they could be told 50 times not to play in the street but until they see the consequences of what actually happens when someone plays in the street, they won't stop. 

One day Benjamin's mother thought of a way to teach her son the consequences of his harsh words.  The next day after school she took him to the fence in the back yard and told him, "Every time you say something mean to anyone, you have to put a nail in the fence."  Pretty soon the fence got very full of nails and Benjamin became more puzzled as to how this was teaching him anything about saying mean things.  Finally one afternoon Mom took Benjamin to the back yard, with the hammer in hand, and told him to take the nails out of the fence.  Benjamin thought it would be a fun game so he started taking the nails out with vigour.  Pretty soon all the energy he had was giving way to sheer exhaustion and he still was not finished taking the nails out of the fence.  The sun soon started creeping into the ground and he could smell dinner cooking inside.  Mom called for Benjamin to come inside and get ready to supper.  He gladly raced inside, ready to eat and ready to get away from the fence and those pesky nails!

When Benjamin woke the next morning he was still wondering why mom had him take all of those nails out of the fence.  When he got home from school in the afternoon, mom took him to the back yard, showed him the fence and asked him what he saw.  Benjamin responded, "I see nothing but holes, mom."  To that his mother responded, "You are very right Benjamin.  Each time you say something mean to your friends, your teachers, me or anyone, you put a nail in that person.  When you apologize, the nail falls out, but the hole or scare from what you said will always be there."  Mom looked down to see tears running down Benjamin's face.  He gave his mother a big hug and tearfully apologized for the hurt he had caused her and promised to apologize to his teachers and friends the very next day.

I told a story such as this to my children many times when they were small because I wanted them to know their words could cause lasting damage.  That is true for children or adults, what we say can leave scars. 

Let's determine to teach our children to think twice before saying something that could cause harm.  But let's also determine to teach this to our children through our example, not just through our words.

Got ticks?

We recently found a tick on my dog, the first tick I've ever had to deal with.  Needless to say, it was an activity I'd rather not have to endure again!  Ticks are ugly little creatures who's only job in life is to hitch a ride on an animal and suck the animal's blood.  If a tick is left alone, it will make the animal very sick.  As gross as that sounds, I can't help but wonder if we have ticks in our lives, sucking us dry.

No one actually knows the exact date and time the tick jumps on it's prey and burrows it's self into the skin of the animal.  Sin can be compared to a tick because it becomes  part of us through something that seems harmless, then before we know it, sin has it's nasty little head stuck in our lives, sucking us dry of our spiritual food.  Much like trying to get the tick off of our poor dog, sin takes hold of our lives and it becomes almost impossible to get it out.

Eventually we get tired of tugging and pulling to get sin out of our lives so we just accept the fact sin is there to stay and we leave it alone.  What we don't realize is sin is doing much more harm then depleting us of our joy and spiritual food, it is making us very sick.  We no longer have our daily devotions, we no longer talk to God, then we no longer attend church.  If this is allowed to continue, we will become spiritually dead.

If we can be harmed by the tick called sin, how much more damage do you think it does to our children?  Once sin is allowed to creep it's way into the lives of our children, it takes hold and has years to suck their lives dry.  Sin hitches it's way into our lives from things that seem harmless such as watching shows on TV that aren't really bad but they aren't really good either.  Perhaps it's their music, they might not be listening to heavy metal, but what they are listening to is filled with curse words and disrespect to women.

Much like our animals, there are items we can use to keep the ticks off of us and our children.  Daily devotions and prayer is a good start.  I am a firm believer it is never too early to start devotions with your children.  No matter how busy life became, I always had devotions with my children because I wanted them to learn the importance of spending time with God at an early age.

Let's determine to saturate our lives and teach our children how to saturate their lives with God's Word so that sin cannot take hold of us and deplete us of our joy.

I am thankful for America

One morning on the TODAY Show there were approximately 20 people who were there to take the oath and become a United States citizen.  It was a very touching ceremony that I just could not get out of my mind.  I decided to research everything that was involved in becoming a United States citizen and I was amazed to find out all of the various things that has to be done to become a U.S. citizen. 

The time between sending in the application and the interview can take anywhere from 5 months to 2 years.  The swearing in ceremony can take up to 180 days after the interview.  There is a lot involved in becoming a citizen.  Among many other things, one must first submit an application, get fingerprinted, learn the English language, attend an interview and take tests. This doesn't include the money that it costs to do all of this.

The oath states, "I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God."

It was refreshing to see the tears flowing down the cheeks of those becoming U.S. citizens.  They truly realized the importance of being a citizen and they actually had to pay, in more ways than one, a price to become a citizen.  It touched my heart to see the joy in their faces, but it also smote my heart because even though I do not mean to, I take my citizenship for granted.

It is a shame that those of us that were born in America take what we have for granted.  Not only should we be thankful as parents for what we have, but we ought to teach our children to be thankful.  We need to teach our children about the men and women protecting our country.  Maybe get involved in sending cards or boxes to the soldiers.  Teach them the true meaning for the 4th of July and Memorial Day.  Teach them to pray for our President and everyone in the White House.

Let's determine to not take our citizenship for granted and determine teach our children the importance of being thankful for being born in the United States of America.

Recession vs. integrity

Integrity is a very important characteristic.  Integrity is not something that we are born with and it is not something that we can learn over night; however, it is a characteristic that we as parents should possess.   It is also our duty as parents to make sure that our children are raised to have integrity.

The recession has a way of showing the lack of integrity in a lot of people.  I recently heard on the news of a lady with a new born that had to go out of the country for approximately 8 to 10 months, so she had the post office hold her mail, she locked up her house securely and headed out of the country. When she came back there was a woman in her house.  When the owner of the house asked the woman what she was doing in her house, the woman told her that she found the house empty, had water, sewer and electricity turned on in her (the squatter's) name; therefore, the house was now HER house!!!!  My jaw dropped when I heard this story.  Needless to say, the squatter does not have integrity because someone with integrity could not live in a house that did not belong to them unless they had permission.  So now the owner of the house has to live in her own house with her toddler and the squatter because she does not have enough money to pay an attorney to fight this for her.  All the while, the squatter is living in the house free of charge!!!

How can we make sure that our children have integrity?  First of all, by our example.  We need to make sure that our children see us being honest.  If the cashier gives us too much money back, we need to make sure our children see us give that money back to the cashier.  We need to teach our children that if it is not theirs, DON'T TOUCH IT without permission from the owner.  Teach them to be honest in everything.  Teach them not to lie.  Teach them that a "little white lie" is the same as a big black lie.  Teach them to be respectful to their elders. And especially for the months coming up, we need to make sure that they see us filing a honest tax return.

One thing that I did with my children was every night for devotions we read a chapter from the book of Proverbs.  All the books of the Bible are important, but the book of Proverbs is a very important book to teach and apply whether we are on our own or whether we have children.

Let's determine to not let the recession show our lack of integrity; instead, let's determine to use the recession by allowing it be a learning tool with your children.  Let them see us living and doing right no matter the consequences and no matter the state of our economy.  Integrity cannot be bought.

Debates are not for the home

As we all know, it is political season.  You cannot turn on the television without seeing commercials of one candidate putting down another candidate. 

A home should not be run like a political debate.  When the parent sets the rules, the children should abide by the rules.  It should not be open for discussion and the children absolutely should not be bashing your rules.  As a single parent it is very hard because many times you have 2, 3 or 4 kids against one parent.  Because we as single parents do not have anyone backing us up, it is sometimes easier to just give in.  It becomes easier to dismiss the comments bashing our rules.  Sometimes we become too tired so we easily give in and let our children have what they want.

Our children are priceless, they cannot be replaced and we only get one chance.  We need to realize that we are molding a masterpiece in each one of our children.  God has entrusted us to raise, nurture and care for each child that we have.  The trust that God has placed upon us to raise our children the right way should not be taken lightly. 

The time to start molding is the day that cute, little, chubby hand reaches out for the crystal bowl on the table.  The word "No" resounds through the house, but the little darling turns around, looks straight at you and touches the bowl anyway.  That is the very second they need to learn that it is not a discussion, it is a rule and there are consequences for disobeying and breaking the rules.

Children need the security of knowing that their mother or father loves them enough to teach them the consequences of disobeying.  When they become adults they are going to have to see first hand that there are consequences for not doing what they are told to do.  If they were not required to obey as children, they will find it very hard to obey as adults.  While at times it may only cost them their jobs, at other times it may cost them their freedom because they may be locked up in jail. 

Our homes are not the place for debates.  Let's determine to teach our children the importance of obedience right away, and teach them to obey without questioning it.  And let's have a home where the only debates are the ones on the television.

Have a great week!!!