I like to think of myself as a person of faith but when my faith is challenged, I find out I may not be everything I would like to think I am. I want to be the person that sits back while problems are mounting and says, "God, I know you are going to help so I am not going to worry." But try as I may, I am not that type of person. I find that when I do get to the point where I tell God I am going to let Him handle it, I still find myself worrying about what will happen.
I recently became unemployed. At first I was very upset and had the usual pity party. I then started filling out employment applications and sending resumes but no responses to my many applications or inquiries. I then heard a sermon at church as to how we should not be afraid to pray for ourselves. I've never hesitated to pray for someone else but always thought it was selfish to pray in detail for myself, I know that sounds stupid, but that is how I felt. I then started praying as I filled out each application or sending each resume that God would provide the job HE wanted me to have. All of the sudden I was asked to attend three interviews! I had gone two weeks with nothing and now I had three interviews!!! I prayed about the three interviews and even asked many others to pray with me. I did not want ANY job (even though I needed ANY job for income), I wanted the job God wanted me to have.
While I was "enjoying" my progress in giving things over to God and praying for my needs, the devil stepped in and reminded me I was going to have to pay my Cobra insurance with no means to do so and even pointed out that I would really be in a bad situation if neither of the job interviews turned into an actual job. My insurance is something that scares me because I live daily in pain because of back problems so I have a pre-existing condition. If I lose my insurance, I won't be able to get coverage for my back again. A cloud began to overshadow me and I felt the cold fingers of despair staring to grasp on to me but I was not going to let the devil get the best of me. I told God that He knew before I became unemployed that I would have to pay my Cobra insurance with no way to pay it so He would need to provide a way for me to pay for the insurance. The dark cloud that had taken over me began to roll back, but in the back of my mind I still worry... not because I want to worry, it's human nature to worry about things we cannot control.
Are you saying or have you said, "I know God will provide at the right time but......."? You are not alone. Does it mean you are a bad person? No, it just means you are human. God understands and He wants to provide our needs, we just have to trust Him to do so.
Let's determine to trust God to provide our needs in His time, and WORRY LESS.
